Thinking in Lisp

SQL, Lisp, and Haskell are the only programming languages that I've seen where one spends more time thinking than typing.
That's because it takes forever to think of the solution in Lisp and Haskell as opposed to a decent language. Faggot lispers will spend most of their time figuring out how best to abuse recursion because they think it makes them leet programmers or some shit.


Sussman tripped along lispingly. He was on his way to meet his
lover, Abelson, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a snake
hopping along, carrying a snake in its mouth.

Sussman was almost from his crotch when he came across a satoric
cake, lying alone on a retarded plate. "That must be a treat
from my small bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it.
The cake looked big, so he ate it.

It gave him the most lisplike tingling sensation in his lung.
"How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Abelson.

When Abelson came out to meet him, he took one look and fell
over.

"What is it?" Sussman cried swiftly.

"Your brain! And your heart!" Abelson said. "They're dyadic!
Can't you feel it?"

Sussman felt his brain and his heart. They were indeed quite
dyadic. "Oh, no!" Sussman said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather,
she started to cry. "It must have been that satoric cake you
left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Abelson said. "I got you a SICP.
It must have been that obolescent man who lives nearby. He acts
a little quietly, ever since he compiled a Python."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Sussman
sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Abelson said
satorically, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your
brain is really indeterminate like that."

"Really?" Sussman dried her tears. Sussman kissed Abelson and it
was an entirely monadic sensation, like a huge black snake head
with retarded-looking eyes.

They spent the night having entirely monadic sex, until the cake
wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.