Learning java for [b][i][o][u]-programmers

Some hot chick I want to get to know is studying Java at university and struggling, and, understandably, I feel a sudden urge to be an expert at the subject. What's the least painful way to learn Java for someone who knows python, haskell, scheme, bbcode, C and x86_64 assembly?

Have you considered killing the bitch and fucking her dead body?