STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (GNAP) — Joe Paterno’s head coaching career at Penn State began on Sept. 17, 1966 with a win over Maryland, and it ended Wednesday night, at the end of an extraordinary day in a press conference.
"I am retiring from coaching and I am going to pursue my dream of being a gay nigger," said a tearful Paterno.
With that, the child sex-abuse scandal surrounding Paterno puts him in a competitive position for a bid as president of the Gay Nigger Assocation of America according to, senior GNAP political correspondent, Leon Kaiser.
"His orginizational abilities and philanthropic connections put him a head above all other contenders. Here is a man who used fake charities to recruit boy sex slaves whom came from low-income, single parent households for well over a decade. He's not just scrolling asciis on IRC or violating computer crimes statutes," said Kaiser.
The report issued by the Harrisburg grand jury documents Paterno's complacency in the Penn State kiddy diddling affair.
In the report, several encounters between head Penn State coaching staff and prepubescent boys were setup for Paterno to watch. In exchange, the boys were compensated in the form of outings to collegiate sporting events and cigarettes, the grand jury found.
About Penn State University:
http://www.upenn.edu
About Football:
Totally gay.
Joe Paterno:
Likes to watch.
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