Virtues of a programmer

"We will encourage you to develop the three great virtues of a programmer: laziness, impatience, and hubris."

Laziness
The quality that makes you go to great effort to reduce overall energy expenditure. It makes you write labor-saving programs that other people will find useful, and document what you wrote so you don't have to answer so many questions about it. Hence, the first great virtue of a programmer.

Impatience
The anger you feel when the computer is being lazy. This makes you write programs that don't just react to your needs, but actually anticipate them. Or at least pretend to. Hence, the second great virtue of a programmer.

Hubris
Excessive pride, the sort of thing Zeus zaps you for. Also the quality that makes you write (and maintain) programs that other people won't want to say bad things about. Hence, the third great virtue of a programmer.

I'm impatient, so I don't learn how to code.

I'm lazy, so I don't write code.

I'm proud, so I refuse to publish code that could be critiqued.

Only when all three of these barriers are overcome can I become a coder.

Go back to bed, Larry.

>>2
That's not impatience, that's ADD.

That's not lazy, that just the /prog/'s shitposter syndrome.

That is not being proud. That's being a douchebag.

>>1
You missed one.

Intelligence
Staying as far as possible from Java or similar languages.

Also

Not using shit like LoseTheOs

>>5
`>implying it's possible to do database work using FUNKTIONAL /PROG/RAMMING

`>implying i use java. c# master race reporting in

>>7
Actually doing database work is easier with a ORM which can be generated in a decent enough high-level language. Java/C# can do it with libraries, but Lisps can do the same with even less effort. Not that Lisp is functional programming.

>>7
fuck off, jerk

>>7-8
Morons. Alright, maybe >>8 is right for DSLs for Lisp, but I have yet to see anything decent for Java# (which is by definition impossible since the languages themselves are so retarded that i want to skullfuck their authors every time i see code written in them)

In reply to post no. 1:
That is a very interesting point! Are you the author of this text? If not, I would really like to know who wrote it!

>>11
Larry Wall wrote it. If you didn't know, you could have googled!

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