If programming languages were RPG classes

C# = Bard
Common Lisp = Wizard
Fortran = Necromancer
Assembly = Paladin
Haskell = Arch Mage

c/c++ - that shit class that's bad at everything and everyone hates
c# - paladin, powerful and requires skill
java - death knight, powerful, little less skillful but much faster
python - pirate because it's for hackers