C = Aya (Nothing is as fast as her)
C++ = Reisen Inaba (Deceptive and insanity-inducing)
Python = Yuuka (Slow as fuck)
Lua = Tewi (Playful)
Ruby = Sara (Useless)
Java = Yuyuko (Eats lots of memory)
Erlang = Wriggle (Controls a lot of things)
Common Lisp = Mima (Ancient and weird, some people want her to return)
Scheme = Satori ()
Fortran = Ran (Ancient and suited for algebra)
Assembly = Yukari (Nothing is impossible)
Haskell = Komachi (Lazy evaluation)