Lisp

The real problem with Lisp is that it was designed without any consideration of the cognitive load experienced by the programmer.  The syntax may be simple, but the semantics are extremely complex and hard to master.  This is completely at odds with needs of the programmer. 

The main cognitive load is in developing a solution to the real world problem.  The programmer is engaged in reflective cognition.  Basic UI principles dictate that, when designing tools to aid in reflective cognition, they must as intellectually shallow as possible.  The less cognition required to operate them, the more is available for completing the required task.

Lisp was unintentionally designed for experiential cognition.  It contains many artifacts, each with a very deep and rich set of semantics.  All cognition must be devoted to its operation.  It is no surprise that it only attracts programmers who are only interested in using it for its own sake.

People use swear by Lisp because they'd rather be bound by their environment than have to come to terms with being bound by their imagination. That's why they're content to jerk off to SICP and rehash decades-old algorithms in a language that can't accommodate real-world applications or solve any modern problems while insisting that both are irrelevant. Creative hackers pick the right tool for the job and do it, and guess what: they don't do it in Lisp.