Due to severe brain damage

you are only able to learn one programming language ever.

Which one do you pick?

>>13
Pointers, motherfucker, have you heard about them?  Like, totally low level, esp. the way C does it.
Also the way C handles strings is SO LOW LEVEL that if you to get ANY LOWER you'd be making your strings in the FUCKING GROUND.
So take your OPTIMIZING COMPILER and shove it deep inside your VAGINA.