anyone else hate birthdays?

Birthdays are a constant reminder that I am getting older and still no where near where I want to be in terms of personal fulfillment. Life has become so routine and boring and soul crushing. It feels like waking everyday is another painful lesson in masochism. I just want to be happy goddamnit. Why can't I be a happy person?

I haven't celebrated my last 10 or so birthdays. In fact, I was so busy programming and playing bad company 2 last year that I completely forgot about my 29th birthday, and didn't realize it had passed until a few days later.