Perl sucks

Writing code from scratch is for idiots.  ALWAYS look for pre-existing code and ALWAYS try and improve up on it, but doing a project from scratch is stupid and will only lead to headaches. 

That is why perl is a bad language because perl programmers can't read each others codee

Lisp:

isInfixOf f [@_ Xs:_:@f @_] -> Xs

Haskell:

isInfixOf :: ByteString -> ByteString -> Bool
isInfixOf p s = isJust (findSubstring p s)

findSubstring :: ByteString -> ByteString -> Maybe Int
findSubstring f i = listToMaybe (findSubstrings f i)

findSubstrings :: ByteString -> ByteString -> [Int]
findSubstrings pat str
    | null pat         = [0 .. length str]
    | otherwise        = search 0 str
  where
    STRICT2(search)
    search n s
        | null s             = []
        | pat `isPrefixOf` s = n : search (n+1) (unsafeTail s)
        | otherwise          =     search (n+1) (unsafeTail s)