Java

I just realized that I love Java. It is my favorite programming language both server side and on the client. Nothing is impossible and nothing is trivial. Peace, bros.

Java should be proof that elegant BS is not enough to survive in the market.  You need to suck.  You need to suck in a way that is significant enough that enough people will love you for it.  You need to be crippled and offer a significant challenge, one that is not completely insurmountable yet remains daunting enough that people will find you worth going back to to try and work magic around it.