Name: Anonymous 2011-04-23 13:55
>have really bad farts and constipation for ages and ages
>very fat so any farts sound super loud as my cheeks oscillate against each other
>realize that if i can get the gas out of my ass without it passing my cheeks everything will be fine
>connect McDonalds straws together and make a pipe out of them, taping the seems
>put one end into my ass to relieve pressure
>other end goes into a fanny pack I wore that contains several air filters
>all goes well, the filters work well enough, the smell and sound of my farts go away
>have Mexican for lunch, feel the gas build up. no fear however, my filtration system will save me
>get into lessons and start farting a lot, my filtration system starts to fail
>open it up and start to replace the activated carbon inside and the water percolator from my water bottle
>teacher sees me and asks what I'm doing
>I say nothing, she comes over anyway
>desperately try to hide my filtration system, accidentally breaking the intake pipe from my ass
>just as she comes over my stomach rumbles and I begin to squirt liquid shit
>it goes up the pipe and causes it spray all over the teacher
>shitting McDonalds straw pipe is spraying shit everywhere, flying around from the pressure of my shit mixed with farts going through while I try to grab it
>try to run out class, but my legs have gone dead sitting there
>fall over at the front of class and slowly crawl out as everyone stares at me horrified as I leave a trail of shit
>am expelled from school, the teacher caught some disease from my shit apparently
>very fat so any farts sound super loud as my cheeks oscillate against each other
>realize that if i can get the gas out of my ass without it passing my cheeks everything will be fine
>connect McDonalds straws together and make a pipe out of them, taping the seems
>put one end into my ass to relieve pressure
>other end goes into a fanny pack I wore that contains several air filters
>all goes well, the filters work well enough, the smell and sound of my farts go away
>have Mexican for lunch, feel the gas build up. no fear however, my filtration system will save me
>get into lessons and start farting a lot, my filtration system starts to fail
>open it up and start to replace the activated carbon inside and the water percolator from my water bottle
>teacher sees me and asks what I'm doing
>I say nothing, she comes over anyway
>desperately try to hide my filtration system, accidentally breaking the intake pipe from my ass
>just as she comes over my stomach rumbles and I begin to squirt liquid shit
>it goes up the pipe and causes it spray all over the teacher
>shitting McDonalds straw pipe is spraying shit everywhere, flying around from the pressure of my shit mixed with farts going through while I try to grab it
>try to run out class, but my legs have gone dead sitting there
>fall over at the front of class and slowly crawl out as everyone stares at me horrified as I leave a trail of shit
>am expelled from school, the teacher caught some disease from my shit apparently