/prog/ challenge

Create a program that gives something resembling an average /prog/ post as output. Extra points if the user can specify what kind of post (autism, SICP, anus etc) he wants. Use whatever language you want. Extra points for using BBCODE.

(define (/prog/lodyte type . args)
  (call-with-post-continuation
   (lambda (sussman)
     (sussman
      (case type
    ((anus) (hax-anus))
    ((SICP) (read-sicp))
    ((autism) (error (sexpcode-compile "not {spoiler /prog/}-related.")))
    ((nomads) (haskell-nomads))
    ((mena) (you-mena-HASKALL))
    ((enterprise) (enterprise-solutions))
    ((satori) (conjure-spirits))
    ((sage) (sage-your-shit))
    ((abstract) (abstract-shit-youll-NEVER-COMPREHEND))
    ((linux) (GNU/Linux))
    ((yhbt) (frozenvoid))
    ((fioc) (kill-thread (current-thread)))
    ((noko) (error (sexpcode-compile "{b.i.o.u BACK TO IMAGEBOARDS, ``FAGGOT''.}")))
    (else "IHBT")))))