Anti-C++ Hipsters

People who hate C++ are only doing so because it's hip and cool to hate on something that seems too complex at first glance. You want to be seen as cool and edgy, as someone who goes against the grain, when in reality you're just another annoying undergraduate that will probably have a hard time finding a job in the field.

C++ is not perfect, but no language is. Get over it.

Funding is over, I need to find a job.
My options:

(ENTERPRISE) Junior Analyst, ~$750/month, minimum required:
Java: Servlet, Struts 1 & 2, Hibernate, EJB 3.x, JMS, JSF 2,
Spring MVC, Spring Core, JQuery, Html (5), CSS (3), Webservice,
Maven 2, JBoss AS, Jetty e Tomcat;
PHP: PHP, OOP, Zend Framework, Mysql, JQuery, Html (5), CSS (3),
XHML, Tableless;
Agile methodology: Scrum;

(MORE ENTERPRISE) Mainframe developer, ~$2000/month, minimum required:
COBOL, JCL, CICS, DB2;


(SEMI ENTERPRISE) Military simulations developer, ~$1500/month, minimum required:
Unity, C#/JS, Computer Graphics understanding.


I can kill myself now...