Haskell.

This obscure language represents a peculiar corner of the programming language world called functional languages. One of the peculiar things about such languages is that they don’t have variables. Although Haskell isn’t widely known among programmers, those who know of functional languages suspect that they, too, are rather slow

>>24
those who still think that x<<2 is faster than x*4.
"x<<n" is an idiom, which explicitly states that:
1. programmer wants fast multiplication by a power of two.
2. you will've no troubles translating this code to ASM
3. naive compiler for obscure hardware will have no troubles
4. compiling without optimizations would still produce fast code