Rerevolutionising Symbolic Computation

Alan Turing and Godels theorems have abolished the pathetic childish platonic view of the universe. In the words of Neitzsche: God is dead.

So called 'modern' computer programming as exhibited by Dijkstra and MacCarthy is still infused with failed platonic ideals -- Guarded command language corresponds to the ten commandements while Metacircularity corresponds to the ancient buddhist concept of reincarnation. Examples such as this abound.

Software crises: The flaws of contemporary computing science are blatant. Subversive anarchistic tendencies arise in development models such as Larry Walls heretical, homocidal and self-destructive Perl 6. Statistical computing and tradings refusal to inebriate themselves with Mandelbrots fractal theory has lead to the current economic collapse. The falsely labelled "immature" rejection of computation by the mathematical community should be seen as another red flag.

I propose a new paradigm of symbolic computation. Rather than castrating our symbols of their meaning we infuse meaning to them just as Salavdor Dali did. Incorperating the symbolic dynamics of Claude Shannon with this, and contemporary cybernetic systems theory leads the subconscious to new insights in the theory of computation.

Using this paradaigm I have accomplished the following great works:

A complete, formally checked, computer generrated proof of the non-existence of God. Inverting Godels ontological work and combining it with Aristotles deep insights led to a symbolic computation culminating in the birth of a new transendencal infinitary lambda logic. One is able to assign truth values to undecidable theorems in this logic -- doing so has a direct influence of physical reality. It is in this way which I was able to construct my non-existence proof.

A fully conscious computer program based on the lingustic work on Noam Chomsky and aspects from the theory of mind due to Dan Dennet and Roger Penrose. There are significant problems not yet solved, in particular i have fallen deeply in love with my computer programs personality and have not yet been able to let it free from its heavenly but false environment for fear of it experiencing suffering.

A first principles derivation of a complete picture of the complexity class schema: P not equal to NP is easily read off my diagram. This diagram has illuminated the true nature of quantum computation relative to classical (turing) computation and symbolic computation. An incredible unexpected result from this work is that symbolic computation is super-Turing. I have been trying to tap into truths of other universes using super-Turing computation but my cyclic string cosmology is not yet complete.

All philosophical problems have been reduced to diophantine equations using ideas from Leibniz language of thought and Lullus Magnas Ars Magna. Maybe are directly solvable using Gospers hypergeometric decision process but I am not well versed in the theory of diophantine equations and there are a great deal of important ones I could not solve. This is on-going research.

Cyclic (holograph) string cosmology is a new physical theory of the multiverse (which I mentioned breifly, previously). Symbolism of M.C.Escher led me to realize so called 'impossible' objects, environments etc. were just a direct realization of other universes. Using high powered particle accelerators (I calculate that they must be three orders of magnitude higher than the LHC) I should be able to not just test my cyclic-string cosmology but using black worm hole technology build portals into other universes.

I am certain you will have found my results quite striking and I wish to start an educational facility to train others in my methods of Symbolic computation. I have asked several universities to admit me as a tenured professor but these arrogant men have generally refused to reply to me or misunderstood my work completely. As I have only finitely many more years to live, and only I seem to understand the incredible consequence of my own work I feel that it is necessary for me to create my own educational facility. A necessary prerequisit for joining is to have read SICP. I am aware that many on this board have done so I consider you an excellent group of potential students. Is anyone willing to apply?

I now feel I have the courage to speak out about what happened one month ago.
 
I was walking home from a late night shift and noticed a glassy aero blue vehicle drive by me slowly. I couldn't see inside through the blue glass reflection but the vehicle moved at an ominous pace. I quickened my pace and made hast for my house now only five blocks away. I broke into a run at four blocks, I was so close to home and safety. But I heard the squeal of tires on pavement behind me and my pulse spiked. I covered the next two blocks as fast as the wind but the blue vehicle was faster. It pulled up onto my lawn in front of me and the doors opened as I ran by it. I didn't look, I couldn't look at them but I heard pixelated fingers running through the grass as I scrambled to find the key to open my front door.
 
I opened the door and turned around to slam it shut but there was a blocky thumb that caused it to bounce back. My wife came in to see what the commotion was about and screamed as the first hand with its blue cuff and erect them grabbed my ankle and tripped me. "Get the children to the panic room" I screamed. And in ten seconds my family was safe but I still grappled with the blue shaded hand holding me down mercilessly as three more hands with blue cuffs came in through the open door. Another held down my other ankle as the third raised his cuff to expose his fully erect thumb. The fourth pulled my pants down and I screamed in agony as I was viciously sodomized in my own living room while my family watched from the panic room camera. For hours it went on while the fourth Facebook 'Like' hand sat their smoking a cigar, laughing and rubbing his thumb and forefinger together when I asked why they were doing this to me. Why? Again, they rubbed their thumbs together with their fingers signifying money.
 
The police said I was powerless, I had given up my right when I had clicked through the Terms of Service to join Facebook. Zuckface could do whatever he wanted to do to me and I was powerless. The policemen told me to go back to my Farmville and watch my crops and just be happy the 'like' hands had left me alive, at least the Zuck had shown some mercy. Then they excused themselves and cautiously walked out to their squad car, hands ready on their sidearms, alert for any remaining 'like' hands.
 
It happened to me and it could happen to you.