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How to write imageboard

Name: Anonymous 2010-08-28 20:32

Hello,
I found out that kusaba x is pretty old shit. What's this whole think about generating html files? Can't it be done simply by sql queries every time and do it with some ajax? How would you write it?

Name: Anonymous 2010-08-28 23:11

>>10
I like the kind of teacher who encourages students to go hurt themselves.


Novice:  How do I write an 4chan?
Teacher: Use PHP and MySQL.
    (days pass)
Novice:  I have made an 4chan, but writing PHP is like
         having teeth pulled rectally, and the MySQL database
         supports transactions only half as well as my dog
         after he ate two pounds of butter.
Teacher: That is why you should have used Java and a
         NoSQL key-value store such as Cassandra or Voldemort.
    (weeks pass)
Novice:  I have remade an 4chan, but the Java code throws
         NullPointerExceptions like mad, the GC requires
         constant tuning, and the key-value store responds
         to queries like my younger brother when he's OD'd
         on Ritalin.
Teacher: You should use an agile design methodology and
         reimplement the front-end in Ruby on Rails.
    (days pass)
Novice:  Again, I have made an 4chan but...
Teacher: That is why you should reimplement it in Haskell,
         using the type system to automatically...
    (Novice tries to deck the Teacher, but the Teacher ducks)
Novice:  The type system will fuck up the schema upgrades
         you twat!
    (Novice lunges at Teacher, and is knocked to the floor
     by an errant broom.)
Teacher: Or perhaps you should consider using Common Lisp,
         defining macros for...
    (Novice tries to sweep kick Teacher, but Teacher jumps
     and lands on the Novice's foot.  There is an audible
     crack)
Novice:  Bastard! Library support for Common Lisp is
         scattered, and support for sockets is...
Teacher: Ah! You have learned well! Now tell me, how is it
         that 4chan runs now?
Novice:  Aren't they just running code based on existing
         imageboard software?
Teacher: Mm... yes, but what does that mean?
Novice:  It means that the code already works?
Teacher: And?
Novice:  And what?
Teacher: While clunky, over the years, the software has been
         fine tuned to perform exactly the task which has
         been asked of it.  Null pointer exceptions,
         problems with transactions, GC problems... these
         problems have been minimized by years of program
         tweaks and administrator experience.  There is no
         foolproof way to build a dynamic website but to
         use the technologies you know and through years of
         toil, mitigate the deficiencies in your technology
         one by one.

         The job of the Architect is to predict which
         technologies and techniques will work together
         to create a complete, elegant system.  This is a
         job that cannot be taught.  It is much coveted,
         but the path to it lies only through bitter
         experience, and long nights integrating Microsoft
         Excel with the company's J2EE backend.

Novice:  So, PHP, huh?
Teacher: PHP is good enough for Facebook, after all.

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