Meta Thread Implementation

The Challenge: Program a /prog/ metathread that solves all of /prog/'s problems and then implement it here by posting it as a new thread.

The Deadline: This challenge is open until /prog/ is perfect.

You know that funny feeling you get when you're about to enter a new store and your heart skips a little bit? I love that feeling. And walking into 0x745f2780 did just that.