How to program in C

    "If it weren't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL."

   1. Use lots of global variables.
   2. Give them cryptic names such as: X27, a_gcl, or Horace.
   3. Put everything in one large .h file.
   4. Implement the entire project at once.
   5. Use macros and #defines to emulate Pascal.
   6. Assume the compiler takes care of all the little details you didn't quite understand.
   7. Rewrite standard functions and give them your own obscure names.
   8. Use obscure, proprietary, non-portable, compiled library packages so that you never have to move from the platform you love so well.
   9. Use very descriptive comments like /* printf("Hello world\n"); */ before each function call.
  10. REMEMBER - Carriage returns are for weenies. Tabs are for those who have not reached weenie-dom yet.
  11. Include LOTS of inline assembly code.
  12. "User Interfaces" are for morons. "Users" have no business interfacing with a professional product like yours.
  13. If you are forced to comment your code (in English), then borrow comments from somebody else's code and sprinkle them throughout yours. It's quick, easy, and fun to watch people's expressions as they try to figure it out.
  14. Remember to define as many pre-processor symbols as possible in terms of already defined symbols. This is considered 'efficient use of code'.

This reminded me of the first time I had a look at the Build Engine source code, the game engine behind Duke Nukem 3D.

The first thing that you notice once you unzip src.zip is that there is a rather small number of source files in the system, rather strange compared to modern game engines.

And then you notice the size of the files in kilobytes, or should I say hundreds of kilobytes.

And this was just the beginning. If you're curious, you can have a look yourselves by downloading it here: http://www.advsys.net/ken/buildsrc/kenbuild.zip