If programming languages were trolls

C would be MY ANUS
Java would be ENTERPRISE QUALITY
Perl would be Haxus the Great
C++ would be =+=*=F=R=O=Z=E=N==V=O=I=D=*=+=
Lisp would be my other car
Haskell would be If programming languages were..

Ruby would be the pleasure of being cummed inside
Forth would be Can I Has Cheeseburger
Python would be FIOC