Problems with LISP

I decided to learn Lisp and after some hours in Google, I ran into some problems:

1. I'd like to use Common Lisp, not Scheme.
2. GIMP uses a Scheme-like dialect, fuck.
3. It seems that the Emacs keys are better for Lisp, but Emacs uses a bastard Lisp dialect.
4. Vim has Common Lisp but lacks SLIME IDE.

What should I do? If possible I'd like to learn only one Lisp dialect.

Don't be a faggot and learn multiple languages - it's a fact of life.