Problems with LISP

I decided to learn Lisp and after some hours in Google, I ran into some problems:

1. I'd like to use Common Lisp, not Scheme.
2. GIMP uses a Scheme-like dialect, fuck.
3. It seems that the Emacs keys are better for Lisp, but Emacs uses a bastard Lisp dialect.
4. Vim has Common Lisp but lacks SLIME IDE.

What should I do? If possible I'd like to learn only one Lisp dialect.

>Emacs keys are better for
No. Not at all. Well I guess they're okay for most things, but for navigating around and doing quick edits they are really crappy and awkward. Most sane people would recommend you to use viper mode which emulates vi inside Emacs.
Other than that Emacs is a great editor and it's Lisp is much closer to Common Lisp than Scheme. Not that you have to use it besides some tweaks in your .emacs file.

As for vim, well there are some CL environments like Limp. However, while better than nothing, they're quite poor compared to SLIME.