Problems with LISP

I decided to learn Lisp and after some hours in Google, I ran into some problems:

1. I'd like to use Common Lisp, not Scheme.
2. GIMP uses a Scheme-like dialect, fuck.
3. It seems that the Emacs keys are better for Lisp, but Emacs uses a bastard Lisp dialect.
4. Vim has Common Lisp but lacks SLIME IDE.

What should I do? If possible I'd like to learn only one Lisp dialect.

CL is a harder language to learn than Scheme as it includes a large variety of concepts
There are some who would argue that having to learn a few difficult concepts is more difficult than learning more easy concepts. Compare continuations vs. break,continue,return,exceptions,generators,coroutines.

hygenic macros (can be done as a user library, but no CLer wants this as we prefer real macros).
Like fuck you don't, you just do it with gensym and packages rather than giving in and using a proper hygienic macro system.