Shitty programming language

You know what the shittiest programming language ever is? Haskell. Seriously, you can't change the value of a variable, and functions can only have one argument. How do you expect to ever be able to write a real program in such a useless language?

I know right? And it has no loops, too, so you have to unroll them manually, and god help you if you don't know at design time if you don't know how many times a loop will need to run.