Beginners programming

I'm sure you have seen this thread a million times, so once I get a satisfactory answer I will let it die/sage

What should the first language I learn be?
What program should I write it in?
What's the best compiler for the language you are advising me to try?
Should I do my work on Linux or Windows?
Best book, or site that will teach me the language?
Any other thoughts?

1. C
2. vim
3. Microsoft's C++ Compiler, although I would suggest starting with the gcc.
4. Linux
5. Google
6. I think it's easier to start with C and work up, then start with Python and work down.