Official /prog/ limerick competition

I'll start.

There was a young codan from /prog/
Who got offered a programming job
 He said "What is this?
 You want Java, not LISP?"
And stormed home to write fibs with his dog.

there once was a language called perl
whose regexes were fucking hell
pig disguisting and unreadable
but makes up by being flexible
fells like getting fucked in the brain