Gay OO argh

I suppose I better learn one of them gay OO business oriented to be able to code inane custom apps for some corporate...

I come from the C demoscene school, so using OO and especially using stuff like .NET or JVM to me is like pulling my eyes out with a spoon; but the world changes nobody cares about pure performance anymore it seems. I gotta go with the flow...

So, which is the lesser of two evils for someone like me?
C# or Java?
(or any other you might suggest)

>>16
Functions returning to a random point in the code segment would be pretty awesome for most purposes.