In an alternate world

...the new hotness is the Report 0 On The Algorithmic Language Workshop Scheme, filled with a brimming standard library (comparable to cstdlib!) and a common FFI - work is in progress to create a low-level CLOS-like object system underlying the entire numeric type tower. Bindings for many languages are rapidly generated by the community - in a few months, Scheme has replaced Python as the language du jour to learn (Guido van Rossum's body was found in a cabinet in a noose), and an overall re-uprising of functional programming is well under way.
R6RS is one in a series of steps of paring down Scheme to pre-R5RS proportions with the objective of a provable language.

var p1 = CreatePerson("Adolf Hitler", 20);
var p2 = CreatePerson("Steve Jobs", 50);

p1.Speak();
p2.Speak();

/*
    Output:
        My name is Adolf Hitler and i'm 20 years old
        My name is Steve Jobs and i'm 50 years old
*/

ಠ_ಠ