Returning an array in C++

PLEASE /prog/ help me out here. I've read and tested at least 5 "answers" to my question that I've found on google, but I can't get any of them to work. You guys are better than them though, right?

I wanted to call an array by reference in a function. Then, I learned that that was impossible. I tried returning the array, but you can't do that either.

Apparently, I need to do some shit with pointers to return the array. How the fuck do I do this?

>>50
Love to!

int* make_array(void* (*alloc)(size_t)) {
  return (int*) (*alloc)(sizeof(int) * 5);
}

Check that shit out! Custom allocator and everything. Pretty bitching, right? It doesn't have the smart pointers, but guess what, you don't need them in C because there's no such thing as exceptions (nor threads. Remember kids, threads are evil. Isolate processes; avoid shared memory; communicate through pipes; the UNIX way). Memory management in C is pretty damn easy.