There is nothing wrong with PHP

Fact: Only a complete and utter retard would use anything but PHP to program for the Web. Perl and Python are for elitist, overeducated cunts who are desperately trying to justify the time they waste learning how to write slow, unreadable noise.

The only thing I hate is the $ in front of variables; it looks ugly to me.

class Main
{
    public str1 = 1;
    public str2 = 2;
   
    public function SomeFunction()
    {
        if (str1 < str2)
            print "str2 is greater than str1";
        else
        {
            print "str1 is greater than str2";
        };
    }
}

Main::SomeFunction();

PHP would look so much better if it removed those dollar signs, and looked like that.