Clojure makes me RAGE

Rich Hickey^† is a disgusting turd. His very existence is an insult to the legacy of Lisp, the genius of McCarthy, and all the hard work that Lispers have put in over the years. The fact that Clojure runs on the JVM^¥ is trivial compared to its other mortal sins, which are so numerous (and make me so angry) that I can't even describe half of them.

Shall I start with the munging-together of value and function names? In a proper Lisp you can instantly recognize head forms by the fact that they're at the head of the list. It was bad enough when Scheme made this ignorant mistake, and worse when Paul "Look at me, I don't even know what interactive development is" Graham copied it. Can't anyone learn from their errors? Oh, and by the way, Scheme tried to remedy this by having "hygienic" macros, which are also completely retarded but at least manage to make it usable. Clojure doesn't even have that. It's completely laughable.

It's not even as if that's the worst part. Not that I need to say it: There's too much syntax! I think Haskell must be Hickey's role model here, since I've never seen another language with as much syntax as Haskell ever in my life. And in Clojure, we get what is easily the most syntax-heavy Lisp-like (it's certainly nothing like Lisp except in the most superficial respects) that has ever been seen. All manner of things that could very easily be done in an ordinary head form style instead wind up littering brackets and delimiters all over the place, even in the simplest of functions. [foo] instead of (list foo), {:foo bar} instead of (dict :foo bar)...

Lambda. It's spelled "lambda," not "fn." Is that too much typing for you, Mr. Hickey? Is it? Did you sprain your wrists masturbating to your unwarranted self-importance? I hope they break off, Mr. Hickey, I hope they break off and you die. Because you've ruined Lisp for a lot of people. You can't even type "lambda?" Seriously? I'm not impressed.

I'm going to have some tea now. I'll be back. Later.

†_{What the fuck kind of a name is that, anyway?}
¥_{ABCL runs fine on the JVM, I hear. There's no point in making another dialect for that.}

Lambdadelta > Bern the Slut

bern has a cat tail > thousand of tailless lambdadeltas

>>122
Yiff in hell you fucking furry piece of shit. No one wants to hear your disgusting fantasies about fucking cats. Fucking kill yourself already.

>>123
but tails are cute -_-

Ma

Ma

Ma Ma Mersenne Prime Get

cocks

>>34
>lisp-machines
is this guy for real?

Lambda. It's spelled "lambda," not "fn."
DONT U TELL ME HOW TO SPELL LAMBDA, YA FUCKIN RETOID.

>>130
I know a sand nigger whose name is LAMDAH

>>131
LAMDAH AHMED CALCULUS?

dubs

lisp my anus

(defmacro lambda [& sigs] `(fn ~@sigs))

Fixed.

>>134
>le pedophile sage

>>136
Yes, I am a pedophile. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my childlover soul long ago and I am happy together with my girlfriend (who is a cute 6 y/o loli!). We fuck a lot of her friends with and without their consent and I am pretty slim and good looking. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid porn with grown women in it while I have SEX with my underaged girlfriend.

>>1
>Lambda. It's spelled "lambda," not "fn."

(defsyntax-rule (.\ a ...)
  (lambda a ...))

(def main
  (.\ ()
    (display "Fuck you!")))

>>137
>le pedophile sage

123456789
987654321
147852369
369852147
753214869
985217463
364712985
852741963
951628473
963214785
258741369
753248691

Lambda. It's spelled "lambda," not "fn." Is that too much typing for you, Mr. Hickey? Is it? Did you sprain your wrists masturbating to your unwarranted self-importance? I hope they break off, Mr. Hickey, I hope they break off and you die. Because you've ruined Lisp for a lot of people. You can't even type "lambda?" Seriously? I'm not impressed.
My SICP professor said that at Stanford in the 70s they had keyboards with a λ key in the computer lab.

>>141
something like this?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keyboard_layout#Greek

>>142
More like this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space-cadet_keyboard

>>143
Here the Greek characters are more visible:
http://world.std.com/~jdostale/kbd/SpaceCadet3.jpeg

Church called it hat calculus but the evil Nazis misspelled it as ``blond-haired blue-eyed Aryan Greek'' lambda because it reminds them of those hats Jews wear.
*tips hat calculus fedora*

>>145
Also because ``hat calculus'' is a stupid name.

i'm pretty sure clojure is the best.  what could possibly be a better LISP?

>>147
Racket.

>>147
Common Lisp

>>1
Hygienic macros solve a completely different problem than having the same namespaces for functions and variables. CL and Elisp still have this problem, they "solve" it by using gensym.