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Clojure makes me RAGE

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 11:57

Rich Hickey is a disgusting turd. His very existence is an insult to the legacy of Lisp, the genius of McCarthy, and all the hard work that Lispers have put in over the years. The fact that Clojure runs on the JVM¥ is trivial compared to its other mortal sins, which are so numerous (and make me so angry) that I can't even describe half of them.

Shall I start with the munging-together of value and function names? In a proper Lisp you can instantly recognize head forms by the fact that they're at the head of the list. It was bad enough when Scheme made this ignorant mistake, and worse when Paul "Look at me, I don't even know what interactive development is" Graham copied it. Can't anyone learn from their errors? Oh, and by the way, Scheme tried to remedy this by having "hygienic" macros, which are also completely retarded but at least manage to make it usable. Clojure doesn't even have that. It's completely laughable.

It's not even as if that's the worst part. Not that I need to say it: There's too much syntax! I think Haskell must be Hickey's role model here, since I've never seen another language with as much syntax as Haskell ever in my life. And in Clojure, we get what is easily the most syntax-heavy Lisp-like (it's certainly nothing like Lisp except in the most superficial respects) that has ever been seen. All manner of things that could very easily be done in an ordinary head form style instead wind up littering brackets and delimiters all over the place, even in the simplest of functions. [foo] instead of (list foo), {:foo bar} instead of (dict :foo bar)...

Lambda. It's spelled "lambda," not "fn." Is that too much typing for you, Mr. Hickey? Is it? Did you sprain your wrists masturbating to your unwarranted self-importance? I hope they break off, Mr. Hickey, I hope they break off and you die. Because you've ruined Lisp for a lot of people. You can't even type "lambda?" Seriously? I'm not impressed.

I'm going to have some tea now. I'll be back. Later.

What the fuck kind of a name is that, anyway?
¥ABCL runs fine on the JVM, I hear. There's no point in making another dialect for that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 12:08

It was bad enough when Scheme made this ignorant mistake
stopped reading right there

Name: C22 MEME FAN 2009-09-25 12:08

†What the fuck kind of a name is that, anyway?
Rich Hickey's name.

At least his last name isn't Collision.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 12:11

>>2
Everyone knows Scheme isn't really a Lisp either. It's a functional language.

Still less unlispy than Clojure, though.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 12:15

it's funny because he's desperately trying not to call himself Dick Hickey but everyone's thinking it anyway

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 12:42

>>5
You are now dick hickeying manually.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 14:49

Bumped for TRUTH. Clojure can't even dump an image. What the fuck is that about?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 15:00

oh lawd i can code a bail of sepples
oh lawd i can code a bail a day
oh lawd i can code a bail of sepples
oh lawd i can code a bail a day

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 15:23

>>4
Everyone knows Scheme isn't really a Lisp either.
They do? Huh. I missed the memo :(

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 15:37

>>8
Bale.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 15:46

>>10
how many bales can you code a day?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 15:47

How teh fuck do you even pronounce Clojure/ IT's not even a wor!!!

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 16:38

All Lisp-2's are an insult to Lisp itself.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 17:00

>>13
#no #they #are #not

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 17:54

>>4,9
People are still debating this shit? I thought we were behind all that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 18:22

>>4
Lisp stands for "LISt Processing". And that is exactly what Scheme does.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 19:18

>>16
[b]LiSt Process MY ANUS[/n]

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 19:18

>>16
LiSt Process MY ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 19:22

>>18
That's what the FIBONACCI BUTT SORT was designed for.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 20:02

>>15
Traditional lispers are still pissed they didn't think of hygenic macros first.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 20:37

Wonderful example of how shitty the Lisp family is. Thanks guys.

Signed,
just another EXPERT C PROGRAMMER

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 21:43

>>21
Lispers wouldn't argue about your language because there's already too many problems with it, but it does do its job fine, which is to be a portable assembler. The moment you start using it as a high level language, they may laugh at you.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 22:21

>>22
High level languages are for intellectual jewfags, women, and nigger

Real men ue Fortran and Cee

Name: TRUE TRUTH EXPERT !tQq1sLlmuk 2009-09-26 7:05

i KNOW C AND LISP. >>21,23 ARE IDIOTS. i CHALLENGE THEM TO C CONTENTS OR LISP CONTESTS OR FLAME WARS OR ANYTHING THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH. aFTER ALL, EXPOSING IDIOTS IS LIKE ANAL: iF THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE IT'S MORE ENJOYABLE FOR ME.

Name: TRUE TRUTH EXPERT !tQq1sLlmuk 2009-09-26 7:07

oH BY THE WAY >>1 IS ALSO A MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT. hE BITCHES ABOUT SOMETHING NEW. wHEN YOU BITCH ABOUT CHANGES, YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT. pEOPLE SHOULD BITCH MORE ABOUT STABILITY AND UNCHANGENESS. nOW GO CHANGE SOME SOFTWARE AND RELEASE APATCH FOR IT MOTEHRUCKER. dON'T FUCKING WORRY AOBUT IT, THE PREVIOUS VERSION IS EXACTLY THERE. MOTHERUFKCES.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-26 14:01

>>1
paul graham and his fifty million dollars would like to express deep concern at your senti-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-26 18:37

Is it possible to write an applet with ABCL? I'm pretty sure you can do it in Clojure

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-26 18:49

Can Clojure even dump an image?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-26 22:45

>>12
CLOSURE.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-26 23:30

>>29
actually, it's more like "Clode-juh"

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 0:48

>>30
Ignorant americans and their ignorant pronunciation of the "j" sound as "dj"

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 1:06

I don't know why niggers keep complaining about Haskell's syntax, Haskell is one of the cleanest looking languages out there. Yes, I realise OP is trolling.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 1:07

Why, footnotes?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 1:14

This is not a well-reasoned criticism of Clojure.

Here is a well-reasoned criticism of Clojure: http://www.loper-os.org/?p=42

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 1:17

>>31
So, by "americans" you mean every single native English speaker?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 1:45

>>32
I'm black and I love Haskell. Stop being a faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 2:55

>>34
Enjoy Lisping yourselves into oblivion, Lispers

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 3:08

u mad

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 3:18

>>37
You wish. These days the free Lisps are getting so many commits, ANSI compliance is excellent, code generation is pretty good, libraries are growing each day, and new users are appearing daily. For me, the CL implementations out there already provide most of the things I need, and I have no reason to use Clojure, but I don't have anything against it, since I haven't used it myself, but did see comparisons with it with other Lisps, and it didn't impress me that much, maybe if I actually needed access to a large java codebase, it would be more useful for me, but I have 0 java libraries I need, and even if I needed any, there is always ABCL.

The other point I want to make is that since LISP's inception, there was a lot of variation between how Lisp is to be implemented and what features it would have, and there was always healthy flame wars debate on the subject. It's very easy to change Lisp to do what you want, and you can redefine the language to match your tastes better, which is why everyone using Lisp seriously is a linguist. This is an advantage, not a problem, unlike other languages with static syntax, you can make Lisp be anything you want, and of course people will bitch and moan when that doesn't match their view, but that is fine!

Now back to whatever boring language you came from >>37!

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-27 3:31

>>39
ANSI compliance is excellent
HIBT?

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