A message to Linux fans

Hi. I'm an adult. I work as a software engineer.

I cannot join in with the Linux community because of you people. You're just *too awful*. Instead of accepting that this stuff happens and it's bad, you childishly nerdsnort and start writing Microsoft with a dollar sign instead of an S, acting as if this stuff is some amazing manifestation of idiocy rather than a likely consequence of using a mainstream OS developed with time and budgetary constraints. It's going to have stupid bugs. Get the fuck over it.

I would like to join in with the Linux community, but all I ever hear is this pathetic nyerr-nyerr-nyerr garbage.

If you want to attract intelligent, grown-up people to Linux you need to stop doing certain things.

1) Don't act as if users of other operating systems are less intelligent than you. It turns out that Linux-advocacy isn't the entire world, and that leaders in different fields (or even this one!) might be using Windows. They're not "lusers", they just have priorities different from your own.

2) Don't act as if Linux hasn't had equally stupid stuff happen to it. Yes, it's a different process altogether, and I would dare say that bugs are less likely due to its open source nature, but they still happen. One that I can remember off the top of my head is Debian's guessable SSL keys.

3) Try—for ten minutes—to give the impression that half of your time isn't devoted to bashing an OS you believe is irrelevant.

4) For good measure try cutting out the xkcd worship and meme-spouting. We might be able to relate to you people if you acted as if you weren't cut from the same distasteful mold.

ITT: Script-kiddies who think Linux is a skill (much like Haskell "programmers", quotes needed to express sarcasm) which will ever be as profitable as M$ to support.

Think about this for a god damn second: something happens to someone's Linux box that needs a good fixin...fuck it they use Linux. Therefore, treat them like shit on message boards from which they ask for help or (usually) they are be able to fix it themselves...afterall if they can understand Linux in the first place they can probably fix it themselves. No support needed its either free and useless help (message boards) or they already support it themselves.

On the other hand. Billions of people use M$ Win"doze" and they all break at some point or another. And they are "too busy" working at the McDonalds or selling their ass for money to fix or attempt to learn to fix it. That's when I go in and charge 40-200$ an hour depending on the audience (40=friend, 60=friend-of a friend, 100=stranger, 200=enterprise) to fix the problem in an hour and bill them for ten (obviously mostly for enterprise). And you know what?? The fuckers pay it because you fixed a problem they couldn't and it would have cost them 10x what they paid you to fix it themselves.

That's what this issue is really about: support. Linuxfags are too fucking stupid and idealistic to understand the fucking truth of life: SEX, MONEY and maybe shitting are life's 3 only luxuries. We know you fagots don't get sex, and you probably can't shit right from all the anal intercourse in the missionary position you partake in receiving.

FUCK ITS SIMPLE ECONOMICS, PEOPLE. SUPPLY vs DEMAND.

Linux: Infinite supply, no demand.
Windows: Supply controlled, high demand (like diamonds).
Mac: Overpriced Linux. Economically, a stupid choice for non-media people.

Now get the fuck off your about-to-drop-out-of-college or unbelievably-socially-awkward asses and learn2business.

//Rant.