languages as transport

Assembler=Walking
Forth=Skiing
C=Old single-speed bike, with solid design
C++=Multi-speed foldable Sport+utility bike with speedometer
Java=A cheap chinese moped
C#=Bike with electric assist
Haskell=Chair(with wheels, but you won't like to use them anyway)
JavaScript=A kid's bike with training wheels
Lisp=A tribe of hired midgets carrying you in various ways
Prolog=Electric Train
Basic=A Car

PHP = The C++ bike with chinese moped parts, plus "cruise control" (really just constant acceleration)