How do I learned LISP?

Yes, I know there is a lisp thread already, but it's filled entirely with faggots spamming LISP LISP LISP. I don't expect to find anything useful there.

I want to learn Common Lisp. What is the best freely available guide for doing this? Thanks, /prog/.

lisp is scheme with a shitton of ##############################################################################3

So learn scheme first if you care. "Teach yourself scheme in fixnum days" then waltz on over and download the SICP lectures. It'll change your life, man. Change. Your. Life.