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Ruby

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 0:22

Every 15 years or so, languages are replaced with better ones. C was replaced by C++, at least for large-scale application development by people who needed performance but desperately wanted data types too. C++ is being replaced by Java, and Java will doubtless be replaced with something better in seven years — well, seven years after it finishes replacing C++, which evidently hasn't fully happened yet, mostly because Microsoft was able to stall it before it became ubiquitous on the desktop. But for server-side applications, C++ is basically on its way out.

Perl will be gone soon, too. That's because a new language called Ruby has finally been translated into English. Yep, it was invented in Japan, of all places — everyone else was as surprised as you are, since Japan's known for its hardware and manufacturing, but not for its software development. Why, is anyone's guess, but I'm thinking it's the whole typing thing; I just can't imagine they were able to type fast enough before, what with having an alphabet with ten thousand characters in it. But Emacs got multibyte support a few years ago, so I can imagine they're pretty dang fast with it now. (And yes, they use Emacs — in fact Japanese folks did the majority of the Mule [multibyte] support for Emacs, and it's rock-solid.)

Anyway, Ruby stole everything good from Perl; in fact, Matz, Ruby's author (Yukihiro Matsumoto, if I recall correctly, but he goes by "Matz"), feels he may have stolen a little too much from Perl, and got some whale guts on his shoes. But only a little.

For the most part, Ruby took Perl's string processing and Unix integration as-is, meaning the syntax is identical, and so right there, before anything else happens, you already have the Best of Perl. And that's a great start, especially if you don't take the Rest of Perl.

But then Matz took the best of list processing from Lisp, and the best of OO from Smalltalk and other languages, and the best of iterators from CLU, and pretty much the best of everything from everyone.

And he somehow made it all work together so well that you don't even notice that it has all that stuff. I learned Ruby faster than any other language, out of maybe 30 or 40 total; it took me about 3 days before I was more comfortable using Ruby than I was in Perl, after eight years of Perl hacking. It's so consistent that you start being able to guess how things will work, and you're right most of the time. It's beautiful. And fun. And practical.

If languages are bicycles, then Awk is a pink kiddie bike with a white basket and streamers coming off the handlebars, Perl is a beach cruiser (remember how cool they were? Gosh.) and Ruby is a $7,500 titanium mountain bike. The leap from Perl to Ruby is as significant as the leap from C++ to Java, but without any of the downsides, because Ruby's essentially a proper superset of Perl's functionality, whereas Java took some things away that people missed, and didn't offer real replacements for them.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 0:30

Cool story, bro.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 0:39

tl;dr

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 0:45

Ruby is the best language.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 1:05

then C is the old bike with rocket boosters attached to the sides

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 1:07

I read the whole thing and can confirm it is a troll. Please do not less sage.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 1:15

>>6
Not a troll.

http://steve.yegge.googlepages.com/tour-de-babel

Read it and weep.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 1:40

>>7
I got as far as him demonstrating the "C-x C-f Suck-Emacs-Dick" command, and I quote "They all used Emacs, of course. Hell, Eric Benson was one of the authors of XEmacs. All of the greatest engineers in the world use Emacs. The world-changer types. Not the great gal in the cube next to you. Not Fred, the amazing guy down the hall. I'm talking about the greatest software developers of our profession, the ones who changed the face of the industry. The James Goslings, the Donald Knuths, the Paul Grahams, the Jamie Zawinskis, the Eric Bensons. Real engineers use Emacs." Then I realized IHBT. Not by the author, but by you, you devious anonymous you, linking me this steaming pile of shit knowing full well what it was.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 1:44

I refuse to believe that /prog/ knows more than all the reviews of the world and that there is a massive conspiracy to troll you.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 2:13

Ruby would be cool if it weren't SLOW AS FUCK!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 2:18

Ruby would be cool if it were Factor.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 2:21

Ruby would be cool if it was as fast as PERL

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 2:23

>>10
Look what you started now.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 2:27

Ruby would be cool if it was PERL 6

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 2:34

Ruby is cool because I have a very fast CPU because I'm a true American, fuck yeah!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 2:37

>>15
But Ruby is Japanese! You race traitor!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 3:38

>>16
Ruby is actually QORIAN.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 4:25

>>16
But real Americans love NIHONGO[1]!

REFERENCES           
1: TL note: NIHONGO means The Glorious Empire of Nippon

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 5:27

>>18
Real Americans aren't WEEABOO[1]

TL note                                   
1: WEABOO means faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 5:32

>>8
[b]WARNING: MASSIVE TROLL[b/]

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 8:50

TOO BAD RUBY IS SLOW AS FUCK

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 8:52

TOO BAD THE RUBY ``COMMUNITY'' IS CRAWLING WITH DELUDED IGNORANT HIPSTERS

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 9:07

>>8
Bitch put Paul Graham and James Gosling in the same level as Donald Knuth? Bitch must die.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 9:11

languages are replaced with better ones. C was replaced by C++
stopped reading there

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 9:32

Why don't you guys agree with him? He is an INDUSTRY EXPERT.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 9:44

>>7
Jamie Zawinski
I couldn't help but lose a lot of respect for jwz when I found out he got hepkitten knocked up and she actually went ahead and had his kid.

Poor guy must have every single STD in the world now. No wonder he runs a club, he can't catch anything else.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 11:06

>>26
I couldn't help but lose a lot of respect for jwz when I found out he got hepkitten knocked up and she actually went ahead and had his kid.
[citation needed]

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 15:59

>>1
Implying that Java doesn't suck
Java is also not replacing Sepples in many areas at all. You cannot write good device drivers in Java, nor can you write really powerful games. The best quality graphics you're probably ever getting out of Java is RuneScape, and that's pretty pig-disgusting.

Also, in terms of servers, the .NET platform is much more effective than Java in a lot of cases.

.NET isn't good at doing browser games like Java, but if that's your only definition of a "server-side application," my cold, mechanical heart beats for you. Although I must admit, RMI is fucking sweet. Java definitely got that right. I'm not sure if .NET has some equivalent, but I don't think that .NET can bring the heat to Java in terms of making servers talk to one another.

Java is the red-headed stepchild of development. Sure, it can do everything (except run fast), but nobody cares because that comes with great costs. It's ill-suited to a lot of the purposes that other languages cover and it's well-suited to purposes fairly exclusive to Java - unless you count Flash.

I know I've been trolled, but I don't really care. Java sucks. Comparing Sepples to Java is like comparing apples to hookers. Sure, you can eat a hooker, but it isn't designed for that purpose. And you wouldn't fuck an apple.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 16:40

>>28
powerful games
With this new game, I can accomplish more than ever before!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 16:41

>>28
In other words, what Java really replaced was Perl... and Cobol.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 16:42

>>27
It says so on ED, go look

Name: Steve Yegge 2009-05-29 16:51

Emacs is the 1000-year Reich!!!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 16:53

Every 15 years or so, languages are replaced with better ones. C was replaced by C++

Stopped reading there

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 18:16

Review of Ruby:
Every once and a while, a language comes along. This is such a language.1

1. Apologies to MAD magazine.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 18:26

>>28
in saudi they have an expression that goes something like this -  a woman for children, a boy for pleasure, a melon for ecstasy.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 18:46

>>34
I lol'd heartily.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 18:54

>>34-36
retards

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 19:05

He makes it sound like Ruby is the PERFECT language.

THE BEST OF PERL, THE BEST OF LISP, THE BEST OF SMALLTALK, THE BEST OF THE BEST.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 20:39

>>37
retards

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-29 20:47

The best, Jerry.

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