One day when I was 12 I was walking home from my compiler class, being all robust and best-practise, when all of a sudden an evil sussman jumped out of the bushes.
"car, cdr, car, cdr!", he shouted in LISP, all FP and shit. Then he grabbed me with his evil sussman hands and dragged me through the bushes and laid me down onto the grass beneath him. I struggled with all my enterprise might, but his strong, hairy, manly arms held me firm to the ground.
"Today I will have you achieve satori.", he told me, unnzipping his suss-pants. I marvelled before his snake. I had never seen such a thick and immense snake before.
"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?", he asked me, forcing it deep into my defenseless aryan throat. "eval, apply!" I gasped for air as the hairy man had his way with me, plunging the shaft of his snake even deeper into my innocent throat, and I could do nothing but serve him. "I see you like the head of my snake deep inside of you. Now lets see how you like it up your pinky white bum!"
"Oh, no, mr sussman!", I cried out. "Not my tender enterprise business bum!"
...but this sussman knew no mercy as he turned me around, and soon he plowed into me, filling me up in ways I could never even have imagined. I completely lost my breath as he pounded my soft like customer-oriented ass with his thick and hard snake. I found myself groaning for every breath as his strokes reached deep inside of me, filling me with a sensation so overwhelming that I could hardly think.
"Do you enjoy having your innocent multi-paradigm ass being ravaged by my hard snake?", my sussman smirked evilishly. I could hardly reply, gasping for air with his every thrust.
Then his panting increased too, until he penetrated me like never before, burying his the full length of his hot snake deep inside of me. He gripped me firmly and I could feel the tail of it pumping still, filling my soft, tight ass with his LISP. It was nothing I could do but climax myself, my body responding to his. I wished it would never stop. I had finally found Satori.