Name: Anonymous 2009-05-17 1:42
Kevin Mitnick, worlds greatest hacker never read SICP. He says Sussman is an idiot and he enjoys reading anything by ableson.
[u][o]/[/o][/u] (faggot)Hi, it's Vince with Slap Chop!
You're gonna be in a great mood all day, 'cause you're gonna be slappin' your troubles with the Slap Chop.
Now look, here's a potato.
One slap, you got big chunks for stews; two slaps, home fries in a second.
And now look at this, when you add a mushroom, the more you do it, the finer it gets.
You don't have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad, you hate making it.
You know you hate making salads, that's why you don't have any salad in your diet.
Now watch this, one slap, salad!
Now, I love pizza too, but once in a while, get the veggies in.
At least throw it on top of the pizza.
You're gonna change your eating habits.
Soup, coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds.
4 or 5 seconds, it's done.
This thing, this tuna looks boring.
Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life.
Add this tuna, putting it in like this.
Now you're going to have a nice tuna salad.
Look at this, you're gonna have an exciting life now.
Look, here's a hard boiled egg.
One chop, you add the pickle, you add the green onion.
And what you can do is mix things together, add the ham, and you're gonna love this.
You don't have time to make breakfast - breakfast to go.
You're gonna love my nuts.
Watch this, almonds, walnuts.
Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover.
Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like.
So easy, one finger.
If I can do it with one finger, you guys can do it with your whole hand.
Kids can do it.
You know what they charge at the ice cream store?
A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store.
Add a couple cookies if you want.
So you can make it for 10 cents.
Stop throwing your money away.
You know not only nuts, what about fruit?
Put a mango, look at that.
Isn't that beautiful on your ice cream?
The reason you're gonna slap away every day is 'cause it's so easy to clean.
One, two, and pops open like that like a butterfly.
Now these other ones you see at the stores, bacteria gets on the food, all the stores have this.
You can't clean it!
You can't open this up, it's worthless!
Forget about it.
Now take the Slap Chop, put it back together, and you get the garlic.
Now here's the garlic, with the skin.
There you go, de-skins the garlic.
You're gonna eat more garlic.
The onions with the skin, alright this is making you cry, making me cry.
Alright, life's hard enough as it is.
You don't wanna cry anymore.
Put the Slap Chop right there, the skin's at the bottom.
And look at this, you want a little bit of onions, you don't wanna drag out the food processor.
The skin comes right off!
You see that?
Alright, now you put a tomato in there.
Add your cilantro, your hot peppers right there.
You hit it like this.
Guys, we're gonna make America skinny again - one slap at a time!
Now here's the deal, when you buy the Slap Chop, we're gonna give you the Graty for cheese.
White cheese, yellow cheese in the container.
Comes with a twister.
Watch this, tacos, fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini.
Look at that, comes with two blades.
Bang it.
Cheese comes right out.
Fine in course, Parmesan.
Comes with a cover, stays sealed.
Put it in the fridge, take it out when you need it.
Pass it around the table.
You're gonna love this thing.
The Slap Chop sells for $19.95.
But if you call now, within the next twenty minutes (you know we can't do this all day), you're gonna get the Graty absolutely free.
So that's two for $19.95.
The Slap Chop with the Graty, here's how to order!