Why do I still use C?

Sepples has good performance, good portability, a lot of libs and OOP is a lot cleaner than LOL STRUCT ****POINTER 0x000000f HAX
But still, I like writing programs in old C. Who fucking needs OOP and shit? Sepples is for whores and code monkeys who spend their time reading Design Patterns: Elements of Reusable Object-Oriented Software and XKCD, using useless shit like Singletons ( LOL, stupid ass waste of code, who the fuck seriously needs them? ). And no garbage collecting, great "language of the future". It's still better than C#, Java and other heavyweight shit anyway.

>>5
Enjoy your misnamed global variables. With factories.

OP: you can do OOP with C, quite easily in fact. Hint: think along the lines of #define method(x, y, ...) x->y(x, ...). You MIGHT even be able to name it $, if you happen to like line noise. Then just make a few new_whatever functions, and you're writing C++-- without the useless overhead of requiring a C++ compiler.