Good language to start with?

I have a lot of free time on my hands right now, and I thought rather than letting it go to waste, I'd like to do something constructive, and learn some programming skills.
What's a good programming language to learn as my first?

I don't know if the text boards are like the image ones, if so I'm expecting a lot of rage and unhelpful comments.

>>24
Stackrobatics, because you can abstract it all away and not deal with it.