If PLs were Programming Languagues

C would be C [successor to the language "B"] offers an elegant compromise between the efficiency of coding in assembly language and the convenience and portability of writing in a structured, high-level language.

Java would be Java [slang for "coffee"] is kind of a streamlined version of C++, designed for portability. Its key advantage is that Java programs can be run on any operating system for which a Java "virtual environment" is available

Ruby would be Ruby [the birthstone for July (following "perl" for June)] combines some of the best features of several other languages, leaving behind many of their shortcomings. It's a pure object-oriented language like Smalltalk, but with clearer syntax

Lisp would be Lisp ["LISt Processing"] is "a programmable programming language", built on the concept of recursion and highly adaptable to vague specifications. Avoid it if you find parentheses unappealing

HMA would be the HMA My Anus Language, offering excellent performance for high-requirements tasks such as haxing anii while retaining the flexibility to implement O(2^n) trolling algorithms.