ITT: Make your own instruction set.

Make your own instruction set for your own made up processor.  How many bits can it access?  What kind of tasks will it be used for?  Bonus points for making an implementation in sepples, FIOC, lisp, or other GENERAL PURPOSE SCALABLE COST-EFFECTIVE ENTERPRISE QUALITY PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES_{(such as java)}

As fortune would have it, I already have one at hand:
BBW    Branch Both Ways
BEW    Branch Either Way
BH    Branch and Hang
BMR    Branch Multiple Registers
BOB    Branch On Bug
BPO    Branch on Power Off
BST    Backspace and Stretch Tape
CLBR    Clobber Register
CLBRI    Clobber Register Immediately
CM    Circulate Memory
CMFRM    Come From
CPPR    Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
CRN    Convert to Roman Numerals
DMPK    Destroy Memory Protect Key
DO    Divide and Overflow
EPI    Execute Programmer Immediately
EROS    Erase Read Only Storage
HCF    Halt and Catch Fire
IBP    Insert Bug and Proceed
INSQSW    Insert into queue somewhere (for FINO queues [First in never out])
PDSK    Punch Disk
PI    Punch Invalid
PVLC    Punch Variable Length Card
RASC    Read And Shred Card
RTAB    Rewind tape and break
RWDSK    rewind disk
SPSW    Scramble Program Status Word
WBT    Water Binary Tree