OpenGL vs Direct3D

You would they fare in:
Ease of programming.
Performance.
Amount of cocks.

Hey I want to create a simple OpenGL pong clone. Here's how you would have to do it:

1. Fucking initialize OpenGL (Probably like 100 lines of code).
2. Write a fucking function that gets called when your fucking screen gets resized.
3. Fucking initialize your fucking stupid viewport (Who the fuck knows what the fuck an orthonormal viewport is.)
4. Draw the fucking paddles to the screen (Don't forget to call glColor3f first! Who the fuck knows what the 3f actually stands for.)
5. Draw a fucking ball to the screen (Draw the ball as a fucking fan of triangles because OpenGL doesn't yet support the concept of a CIRCLE, which has been around for fucking EVER.)
6. Fucking write a function that updates the screen every frame. You need to write a stupid fucking collision detection algorithm too. This will account for 0.1% of your final code.
7. Fucking add some scoreboards and shit, how do you do this? Who the fuck knows, multiple fucking viewports? Fuck if I know.
8. Fucking write a stupid keyboard reading function so you can get input from the user for certain events like moving the paddles.

OpenGL is why Xarn cries at night.