PHP GET variables

My URLs are currently way too long, so I'm thinking of using index.php as a redirect to other parts of my site. What I had in mind is www.example.com/?nigger. The thing is that I'm using free hosting (inb4 shitstorm), and I have to change hosts once in a while. Are there any server configurations (which support PHP at all) that wouldn't work with this?

<?php
$map = array('penis' => '/me/nude.php');
foreach ($map as $p) isset($_GET[$p]) && die(file_get_contents('http://'.$_SERVER['HTTP_HOST'].$p));
?>