Someone help me. What the fuck is going on? Everything feels strangely normal. I can't make sense of anything.
For Example, when I drop something on the ground and it falls. I predict it will fall before it falls, and it does. Why should I not assume it will? How do I know it will fall? I think it is because of gravity, and learning. I learned this thing called gravity. Learning and gravity are both something that somehow naturally occur, but I must not think of the reasons why they do, because cause is equal to reason (reason is sum of parts of the cause) and all reasoning eventually leads to infinite regress.
I'm becoming stupider and stupider. My brain is turning into mush.
I often sleep for 3 days and not eat anything.
I should think of things, because it helps me survive and live a happy life. But the more I think, the less I can think because it uses up conscious effort. That means, I should think a little bit, but not much? The world is too complicated for a little yet senile boy like me.
Why can I see, why can I hear? These traits have evolved during billions of years. Why? Because they survive here? Why do they survive here then? Shit, there we go again, infinite regression.
As a child, I was happy because I did not think. Now I am unhappy even when I don't think. No, this is not it, I am unhappy because I am unhappy. Remember, cause is equal to reason? So... to be happy, I would simply need to be happy. I can almost see where this is going. The path in front of me definitely has light, but another part of me is blocking said light. If there was a good reason why that part were blocking it, I would be happy. But no, that reason is just simply the cause itself. It's too complicated because it's too simple! Is that not illogical? Yes, it is illogical. If the world runs on a logical system, I'll eat my own shit. "Take this 3D cellular automaton and scan it for the quantum processes which yield consciousness" my anus. Uncertainty principle my anus. God my anus. Love my anus.