Haskell Nomads

So can anybody tell me in a way one can understand it what a fucking monad does?

>>46
2) I'm talking about how monads seem to be a gathering point for strange behaviors that (presumably) can't be implemented in the language itself, and whatever Haskell code may represent them is replaced by internal functions at compile time.
3) That's been my experience when a program I'm trying to write gets too tangled among the standard monads.  Even when GHC accepts the code, the runtime crashes on it.

If you're looking for it to mean more than that, you're either trolling, crazy, or trying to drive yourself crazy.
Or I've read basically anything ever written promoting/teaching Haskell, wherein so-called “monadic behavior” is touted as a major defining aspect of the language (rather than “hey I thought of a way to rearrange that function”) and the monads themselves are giant shadowy beasts of which we must never speak.

>>48
Thanks.

>>54
right, some mathematican invented that shitty name and some other shitheads thought it was a good idea to rename old concepts (encapsulation) in programming with it, instead of using a name which describes what monads are good for. I wonder why some people try so hard to find creative names, which fit the topic.

>>56
>Except it's not a function being executed N times and having side effects, it's a function being composed against itself to the Nth degree and having cumulative effects on a value invisibly threaded through the whole sequence.
Which sounds good for me, as long as nobody wants to tell me now about how we put the world state into the monad or need to compute an actual value in haskell itself besides executing the function to give it some unique id. Last problem for me in haskell solved, i should be happy.

As far as i understand it now is, that the haskell compiler can't look into the functions written in c and thus does not know what they will return with which input value, thus the created program has to execute them every time. Monads and similar stuff (Arrows) just make sure, that we use a return value only one time.

Only problem is a runtime environment, which could predict from the last input values the output values of a function and replace its call with the result without executing anything.