[Fucking stupid] Bad programming ideas [WTF]

Here's a thread where you can post retarded software/programming related ideas you read or saw on the internets. Retarded code from ENTERPRISE is fine too, but please don't turn this into “Retards writing Java” thread. You can think of it as /prog/'s own DailyWTF, only with less Java programmers and people laughing at stuff that they really don't understand. I'll start with a post from /a/:

I have been thinking about a P2P client which requests bytes from people who may not necessarily have the file they're downloading, but they have those specific bytes (which may be from another file), and the P2P client is designed to request the closed peer with those bytes, despite not having the file. So, it wouldn't matter if a torrent was dead, you'd just have to search other peers for those specific bytes.

It would have to be some sort of index of hashes of those bytes which would determine who sent them...

>>30
Did you even read this thread? Everything you said has been said already. You forget that this is /prog/, even if something is completely stupid or devoid of logic, we always make up a crazy possible scenario of success, where success is not very well defined, just for the hell of it. We're making a mockery of people who believe it's possible to “store” the entire contents of a DVD in a MD5 hash. Reread some of the posts, >>21 is my favorite, it describes the best compression method ever designed.

>>22
OH GOD I LOLLED. Base 64 + instant messaging = infinite bandwidth? GENIUS!