Aw shit

Should I learn:

C
C++
C# (lulwut?)
Lisp (I'm not sure about the dialects, is it Common and Scheme?)
Java
Python

being a programming FAILURE they're the only ones that come to mind at the moment.

inb4 SICP.

>>15

Advice sincerely taken.
Thank you.
Gonna go for C for now then, could you recommend me a decent compiler/editor so I don't have to fuck around looking for something for the next half hour?

Cheers.
+1 internets for you.