Aw shit

Should I learn:

C
C++
C# (lulwut?)
Lisp (I'm not sure about the dialects, is it Common and Scheme?)
Java
Python

being a programming FAILURE they're the only ones that come to mind at the moment.

inb4 SICP.

>>8
Frankly, if you don't know any of th languages posted in the OP, your time isn't worth anything. So pick up a good book (K&R or SICP) and actually learn a thing or two. Once you've actually learned how shit gets done, then you can come back here and question our communal judgments.