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GOTO++

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-21 16:41

The GOTO++ (this fabulous language) is the result of a considerable amount of work and reflexions about the meaning of life, the world that surrounds us, the usefulness of the jointed legs coleopter in our ecosystem, and many other important things. Anyway, the creation has been motived at first by the uttermost necessity to count the suicides of penguins in the southerner regions of the wild Antarctica. To speak more concretely, the GOTO++ is based on non conventional rules. There is no logical operation in GOTO++, even if we can reproduce them with complex tricks. The basic operation is the GOTO, which do absolutely nothing. Next come the GOTOGOTO, which allows to reach another point of the program (a classic goto could you say foolishly). But this GOTOGOTO needs not only a label but a percentage of success that allows the exceptional interficial intelligence of the GOTO++ to compute the probability to reach the label. Now, normally, you spirit has been enlightened, you just reached the liberty of the cycle of samsara and you realize with enthusiasm the innumerable possibilities that are now at the tips of your fingers. So, do not hesitate anymore, join the millions of programmers that already chose the GOTO++ as their favorite language!

Here is, as an example, the famous “Hello World!” written in GOTO++. Notice the elegance of the code and the fact that our loop is not infinite but is repeated a random number of times.

§1
GOTOPRINTDUTEXTE() ; «Hello World !»
GOTO which do nothing
GOTOGOTO() *(1)

The characteristics of the language

    * It is the best programming language in the world.
    * Even better, it is the best programming language in the universe.
    * It has a clear syntax, with keywords in French, this so beautiful language.
    * The possibility to do GOTO. Yes, drop these stupid loops!
    * Manipulate the references (equivalent to pointers) to do a lot of bugs.
    * Very easy multitask: we use a GOTOUNIVERSPARALLELEouizzz (which could be translated to GOTOPARALLELUNIVERSEwizzz) instead of a normal GOTO and the execution flux is splitted in two.
    * Object: heritage, properties and shared methods, access to members by index...
    * Modular: thanks to a very simple interface, it is now possible to program C++ modules to extend the GOTO++. The standard distribution includes for example a very simple network module that allows fast protoyping with the multitasking capability of the language.
    * Regular expressions.
    * Arrays, hashtables...
    * GOTOs ! A lot of GOTOs !
    * And many other things!

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-21 21:15

>>15
FAT HUCK WETH

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